Life n Business!: July 2023

Shrikand Mahadev Kailash is one of the very challenging treks and is considered as the toughest yatra in India/World. Located at an altitude of about 18570 feet, with a trek distance of about 35 kms, one way, takes atleast about 6 days to complete in good weather conditions. It is one of the Panch Kailash, one of the abodes of Lord Shiva where he is supposed to have sat in deep meditation.
Here's a compilation of whatsapp messages that I had shared about my experiences with another meditation group that I was part of. Planning to soon convert this into a book, titled "The trek, the turns and the summit".

My Experiences

On July 03 2023, Monday morning, when I was winding up my online yoga class, one of my friend mentioned that she is going on a an Himalayan trek for the next 15 days and I casually remarked, "wish I could also go on an Himalayan trek". She said I can still join them if I wish to and without thinking, I asked her to share the details and logged out. After sometime, without even my knowledge, I started booking the flight tickets, making the train/bus reservations and wondering all along what am I doing and thinking that in the worst case scenario, I would loose some money. I went ahead and started packing too. Before I even realised, I was in the airport within 36 hours of deciding and less than 48 hrs I was in Chandigarh. I had no time to even check which trek was I doing and where was it located, for how long we would be gone, how tough was it. I had just packed my backpack, forwarded the videos she had sent to my family whatsapp group and just joined her, who I knew would take care of the details like she always does. When I reached Chandigarh is when I realised this was real. I was on a trek that would change the course of my life.

Note - 1

On to a mystical start

Being up there in the mountains was like entering a different world and coming back. The mountains teach us to be minimalistic. Realised how easy it was to survive with just one small back pack for easily a week to 10 days and how an extra pair of dry clothes is a huge luxury in those weather conditions. With minimal luggage on the mind and body, it’s so easy to survive any where. We became one with the elements there, got wet in the rain, got soaked in water crossing the streams and the water falls, covered ourselves with wet mud, slept on the cold grounds, held ourselves against the winds, spent most of our time under the huge open skies. It was oneness to a different level.

Became one with the locals there, shared their food, listened to their stories. Friendship and service had a new meaning. Everyone became friends and were equals, helping each other, guiding, we lost our identities and the only source of information in the absence of phone signals was the fellow trekkers who would pass us by from above or below, giving updates on the situation up there and offering tips on how to make it safely to the top.

Being in a empty state and allowing things to unfold on their own helped a lot. In spite of the weather conditions and rain forecasts, I am glad I made it. It was as if I was taken there safely, taken care of and dropped home safely. The entire trip was surreal and more like a dream.

I am not usually comfortable in cold weather, this time I was surprised I didn’t feel cold at all. I carried my own backpack and asked the molecules in my bag to re arrange themselves and become as light as possible and I didn’t feel the weight of my bag at all. I feel I have come back as a different person. When your path is risky and you don't know where you would land next, we surrender to a higher power and witness the magic unfold. I had witnessed the magic, the mystery and the mountains.

Taste of a rock slide

When we started the trek, it was evening and we had 1 to 2 kms to reach the base camp and it started raining. We found a shelter and stopped for sometime and I decided to use that time to meditate and clear my mind and mentally prepare for the trek. After sometime, I opened my eyes and told others that we need to keep moving as the rains will not stop. The others were still debating and I got up and started moving saying that at least we should move to the next shelter which was close by. Then they got up and moved a bit. A big stone rolled down from the mountain and landed just behind where we sat and there was more mud sliding down. I realised what happened and decided to just keep moving on and not look back or think about it.

Meeting Babaji

Next day, I felt better being out in the mountains and I suddenly felt like meeting some of those realised beings up there. I had read and heard about them, specially Mahavatar Babaji in the autobiography of a yogi. I also wanted to experience it, so I started asking for something like that to show up and with in about half an hour, met someone in Orange clothes who happened to be from down south and spoke in kannada and now lives every where. We trekked together for the next 1-2 hrs and he answered all my questions and I felt happy for no reason just being in his company. He asked me to read books written by the original masters from earlier times and told me to be in the zero state all the time. He said he travels every where with no money, doesn’t eat outside food, cooks his own and some how he is taken care of and being in the zero state helps him do this. When it was time for us to part ways, I said goodbye and he said no, we will meet again.

While trekking down, I was wondering if I can meet him again and was curious how did he survive without food and if he had made it to the top. Again, we met him and this time just for a few mins and this time his face was glowing very bright and he had a different energy around him and he again mentioned about being in zero state and that’s how he survived and was taken care of.

Panipuri on the Mountains

While trekking down, I was chatting with my guide, who is an aspiring chef and we were discussing about the food habits and he offered to buy me Gol gappa, once we reached the villages and he said I should taste and see how different it is there. I agreed and was thinking of it and suddenly after about 10 -15 mins, in one of the tents, we were so surprised that they were offering free Pani puri to everyone. For a moment, I hesitated if it’s hygienic or safe to eat, suddenly my attention was drawn to the river flowing next to the tent and the pure waters of the Himalayas and some silent voice assured me anything eaten with full presence and in moderation is always safe and we all enjoyed eating it.

Meeting Hanuman

Another incident in Shimla on our way back, where we halted for a night. I returned to the room and my friends were supposed to join me later. For a brief moment, I felt I would be alone, not that it mattered but it just crossed my mind. As soon as I entered the room, a huge big monkey came and sat next to the window, as if to give me company and sat there for a very long time till I completely settled down and relaxed. On the way to the hotel, I bought 2 bananas and the shop keeper gave me a third banana which I refused, thinking he must be giving so he can charge me extra. He insisted that I take it, which I then accepted, ate the 2 bananas and put the third in the bag.

In the room, I remembered the banana and offered it to the monkey which it happily took and ate. The best part was when I decided to take his pic, he started looking in different directions like a kid and I assured him that it will not go on social media and it is only for me and my friends and he then reluctantly agreed to be clicked.

Signs from the Universe

On our way to the trek, in the hotel room in Shimla, I asked the universe to show me that I am in the right path, since I got into this without thinking or even knowing which trek I was doing. Then suddenly I saw this symbol of Trishul / Trident outside the window and for a moment I was all thrilled thinking I have become powerful and the universe answered me as soon as I asked. Then I realised it is a reflection of light from the room on the huge clear window pane. Nevertheless, I got my answer and through out the trek, I even noticed thick green plants in the same shape all along. It was so reassuring

Letting go of the stones

I picked up 3 stones from the waters to carry home as a memory like I did in my earlier himalayan trek. As I was putting them in my bag, one stone slipped and fell from my hand. I felt maybe it didn’t want to come with me, didn’t want to be taken away from its natural habitat. I then placed all the 3 stones back in their place and felt happy and free.

Learnt an important life lesson in letting go. We always look at accumulating things, memories etc., instead of letting go of them, breaking free of the patterns, dropping everything, de cluttering, minimising, reducing the luggage and traveling light. Was happy to let go. One item less on my mind and in my life.

Toy Train to Shimla - on the Himalayan queen

Took a cab from Chandigarh airport to Kalka and a Toy train on the Himalayan queen from there to Shimla. This is a small cute little train introduced first in 1903 when Shimla was first made the summer capital and runs at 18 kmph and covers hundreds of tunnels and bridges to cover a distance of 60 miles in 5 hrs going thru picturesque mountain ranges, lush green valleys, mesmerising water falls and pine covered forests.

Once inside the train, I decided to make use of the time to meditate and energise myself as we had taken early morning flight.

Started meditating and after sometime felt maybe I am missing out on the beautiful scenery outside and wondering what we would be passing by and what could be the sight outside. Didn’t want to open my eyes as I was enjoying meditation also. Then a vision of deep green valley with huge trees flashed before my closed eyes and I suddenly opened my eyes and looked out and found exactly the same scene outside.

Didn’t know what to make out of it and decided to continue meditating without thinking, analysing, judging. It was specially important on this journey to just move on and focus on my breath either with eyes closed or open and remain in an empty mind which greatly helped.

To Rampur - on the local bus

Food was the best. There was plenty all along. On our way from the Airport, we stopped at Lucky Dhaba and ate Parathas, curd n pickle. Tasted so good. I even ate an extra paratha as I was told there will not be any lunch on the Toy train.

On the train, right from the word go, people were continuously munching on something or the other. The train would stop for 5 mins in every station and people would hop in and out, buy samosas, cutlet, hot tea, chips, biscuits, juice etc.,

I refused all snacks. I didn’t feel like eating any of them plus I wasn’t hungry. I was happy in my own world with water and meditation. Towards the evening I started to feel hungry and noticed someone selling hot boiled Channa, sprinkled with raw onions, finely chopped green chillies, freshly squeezed lemon, served on a green leaf cup and even a piece of dried crisp leaf to be used as a spoon. It was so tempting. Finally, I had found something interesting. I felt It was very thoughtful of him to add a leaf as a spoon and sent out a silent thank you and blessed him. It tasted so delicious.

We reached Shimla around 5pm and decided to go for a walk in the famous Mall road after leaving our luggage in the room and also reconfirm our bus timings and check the bus stop for the next day early morning bus journey to Rampur. On our way back had soup, rotis and lots of vegetables. Once we returned to the room, I was still hungry and ordered a Veg Biriyani. Normally on trips like this, I eat a lot more and still find myself constantly hungry.

Next day the bus journey to Rampur started at 4:15 am and we made it on time. It was a local bus and was crowded with more people than it could accommodate and even more getting in at every stop. We had our reserved seats and once settled in happily went to sleep. The bus stopped at around 7 or 8 am for a morning break at a small cafe. We got down, stretched and had decided to have our breakfast in Rampur which was another 30 mins away and were happily chatting with the locals on the road side as the other passengers had breakfast and were slowly getting into the bus, when in the last minute someone remarked that Rampur was another 2 to 3 hrs away. We looked at each other, immediately ran to the restaurant, ordered 4 Parathas and chai, finished it in record time and got into the bus, as the driver, conductor and others were staring at us. We quickly settled in with tea cups still in hand.

Someone in the back seat started playing videos loudly on his phone and I was wondering why aren't people more mindful and what would it be like, for him to stop it. To my surprise, after a few mins he stopped and I happily went back to my sleep cum meditation wondering how beautifully the universe listens to us when we sincerely ask for something and always grants it. At other times, when we don't get what we ask, maybe we are still holding on to some thing which needs to be dropped first. Letting go at every opportunity helps. Or maybe opportunities present themselves so we can let go!

To Singhad - The journey begins

Rampur is a beautiful town on the banks of the river Sutlej with temples, monasteries and a palace, known for its world famous Lavi fair and was the traditional connecting route to Tibet and Kinnaur.

The bus dropped us right in front of the post office at around 11 am and we found it very convenient to go inside the post office, leave our bags there and explore Rampur by walk for the next few hrs. We soon landed in a small old temple, where the idol known as the Kula Devatha was brought by the princess from her parents house when she got married to the king of Rampur, we stood right under the temple bells, rang them loudly and allowed the vibrations to cleanse our energies, read all the inscriptions, sat there and ate litchis that we had packed for the previous day train journey, and then continued walking with more hanuman temples along the river banks and then went thru the streets lined with shops on both sides selling all kinds of colorful stuff and every street corner selling brightly coloured hot Jilebis till we reached the palace, took pictures of its beautifully carved ceilings and gardens, had lunch and returned to the post office.

We arranged for a small car to drive us to Jaon village. On our way, we stopped at Nirmand at the famous Dev dhank caves where Lord Shiva is supposed to have disappeared when chased by the demon Bhasmasur, who incidentally was offered a boon by Shiva that he can place his hand on anyone's forehead including the gods themselves and they would turn into ashes and for some reason, Bhasmasur decided to use this boon against Shiva himself. To escape, Shiva entered these caves and appeared on top of the Shrikand Mahadev Kailash and the Pandavas discovered this secret passage.

The entrance to the caves was narrow, and we had to squeeze n crawl and once inside it was peaceful. I even tried to meditate, thinking how happy I'd be to be left alone there and how easily I can sit and meditate for years and obtain all of those powers too. Didn't feel like getting up and had to force myself out. For some strange reason felt sad to leave that place. It felt like home.

We continued and in between had to change to a bigger car as the roads were becoming more difficult till we reached a point where the vehicles could no longer move and we walked the last stretch to Jaon and started the trek to Singhad where we decided to camp for the night. The small base camp at Singhad was over crowded, it was raining, muddy, dark, cold and every inch of the available space was occupied with bags, shoes, jackets, umbrellas, blankets, trekkers, locals volunteering to serve. There were preparations happening to welcome goddess Parvathi from some Shakti pith, announcements happening on the precautions to be taken during the trek, Food being prepared on the other side, arrangements for music, chanting and Aarti etc.

This was for the first time I felt a bit strange, out of place and wondering what am I doing there. I realised the need to come out of those feelings soon and immediately focused all of my attention and energies to create something better, as if my life depended on it, for it did. This time the response was faster than expected. I started feeling a sense of peace and calmness envelope me, there was a feeling of joy for no reason and I forgot everything and became one with the people there, took part in their chantings, sang with them, enjoyed the dinner and was filled with gratitude to the universe for always having my back, no matter what!

To Thachdu - Our First Darshan

We woke up around 4 am and had hoped to get an early start at around 5. Had our bags carefully sorted the previous night with only the bare minimum essentials going into it. We had travelled on our own till then and now had decided to take 4 guides/porters. The registration desk outside was crowded. We had registered online, also had our medical certificates ready, so collected our tokens, waited for the guides, handed over the extra bags for safekeeping in one of the shops. Tea, biscuits/toast was being served which I skipped and was sure to find something better, later.

We finally started around 6 and walked for a bit when we found Bread Pakoda being served in another tent. I started to wonder who eats fried stuff for breakfast, when, even without realising I walked in as if something pulled me inside and had a look at the golden brown freshly fried, huge slice of hot Bread pakoda which looked so inviting, as if it was smiling n waiting for me. I took one bite, it was crisp on the outside, no trace of oil whatsoever, soft on the inside with aloo in between the slices tasting more like paneer. There was piping hot tea to go with it. I ate to my heart's content and felt it was the best ever eaten and since then was always on the look out for more and never found it. There is some thing magical about the mountains. Food always tastes different, irrespective of what it is and every single meal tastes as if it is the best ever.

We continued walking along the water flows with the loud sounds of the water gushing down from top, climbed down several steps, passed by many tents, crossed a small wooden bridge, one at a time, entered the mountains with vast open skies, tall deodar trees, fresh crisp breeze. It had stopped raining even though still cloudy, perfect for treks as it doesn't get hot, the path was tricky and we had to carefully navigate along the narrow slippery trail with rocks and stones, and pull ourselves up the huge boulders and carefully place every single step without for a moment looking sideways or up n down and at the same time ensuring trekkers from the opposite direction get their passage and more importantly, making sure we always gave way to the porters carrying huge sacks of supplies, sometimes heavy metal boxes, gas cylinders, their backs completely bent forward with the weight and some walking barefoot and many just wearing any slippers which was even more slippery.Was told during the return trek, that one of them had gone missing, meaning, fell off the mountain and how it was becoming difficult to find porters and mostly Nepali porters were found during the season.

The trek starts on the full moon day every July, when 4 priests first go up, do the Pooja and announce it open. This time, someone on the way mentioned that, only one priest returned, 3 went missing. Officially the trek is opened for 15 days. We continued the climb without stopping as there was no place to even take a break, wondering, how would anyone even know if someone disappears as the registration desks capture only those who go n register. We kept meeting all kinds of trekkers, adventurers, explorers, pilgrims, locals, young solo first timers, old veteran's, many who come back every year, mostly on their own without guides/porters with the only aim of making it to the top and those who had summited and returning down, those who had decided to return back mid way or some who had made it very close and still turned back seeing the conditions up there. They were alive and thats all that mattered. Mahadev can wait.

We were enjoying the climb, the conversations, the stories, mahadev greetings on every one's lips and without realising reached Thachdu at about 2 pm after climbing about 12 kms and decided to halt there for the night. It started to rain and we quickly went inside the kitchen tent, had Roti/ Potato curry and paid for a small tent just enough for the 4 of us and settled down when we heard loud har har Mahadev and went out to see the crowd gathered behind the kitchen tent with all their eyes set on the snow clad mountain peak in the distant horizon. We joined and were told irrespective of the weather conditions every evening during Aarti time, the clouds disperse and Mahadev is visible from this particular spot.

It is a Shila/ rock in the form of lord shiva, 75 feet in height, 46 ft in thickness situated at a height of 18,570 feet and looks like Shiva's face with matted hair, eyes, nose and it is fissured or has cracks and hence the name Shri "Khand" Mahadev and is supposed to be the place where shiva sat in deep meditation. It is one of the Panch kailash, the other 4 being Kinnaur kailash, Mt. Kailash, Adi Kailash, Mani Mahesh. There is another rock next to it which looks like Goddess Parvati, and one more resembling Ganesha and all 3 clearly visible from the camp with the last rays of the sun lighting the peak. Behind Mahadev, not easily visible even from top is Karthikeya, standing, facing opposite direction as if he is angry with his parents for preferring Ganesha over him, even though he went around the world 3 times, where has Ganesha found an easier option of circling his parents. (A wiser option perhaps, knowing well, that his mouse is no match to his brother's multicoloured peacock)

It looked divine, our first darshan, felt blessed and were grateful, listened to all the conversations, got to know the free dinner served there will be much later and so decided to buy Parathas selling in another small tent as we had decided to sleep early. Once settled in, I covered myself from head to toe with the woolens, gloves, extra socks, wrapped myself in a blanket, as the wet ground below was cold, with only a blanket on the tent floor and decided to sit in meditation, grateful that there was just enough space inside the tiny tent to sit without disturbing others. I had realised, treks like this are not a test of physical stamina, it is the mental state that determines the survival, so every opportunity had to be utilised to clear the mind!

To Kali Top - On Cloud 9

We started from Thachdu at 6 am after tea n biscuits. Next stop was Kali Top, even though a short distance of 3 kms, it is highly challenging, as we climb at an elevation of 60-70 degrees, with huge boulders spread all over. On the way, we pass Danda Dhar where the forest ends, small shrubs n bushes take over, with breathtaking views of the smaller mountain peaks covered in clouds and rare Himalayan flowers along the way.

When my friend sent me the list of things to pack, I had already left home to the Airport and smiled at the message, which was a signal from the universe that, All is well. Had replied that except for the trekking pole and the oxygen can, I'd packed the rest. She lent her extra pole and also said she has packed enough camphor for all of us.

As the name suggests, Danda or the pole was of great help and everyone was seen walking with one of them and plenty of wooden ones available at the start point for people to borrow. As for the Camphor, I had always wondered why was it burnt in temples, however, here on the mountains, I had found a different use. The locals use it in the place of oxygen, as it increases the oxygen levels in the body. Even though we never really required it, I had enjoyed sniffing at it occasionally for fun and it even made me feel better.

There were less people on the trail, mostly, spread over the mountains depending on their speed, and the earlier visible porters were not to be seen, must have already moved on or maybe the upper camps required less of them. The weather was good and we kept climbing, leaning forward slightly during the ascent, being careful of the foot placements, balancing ourselves carefully while shifting the weight on to the heels or toes as required, and most importantly ensuring the end of the pole is placed firmly on a stable ground and not on loose soil or in between the rocks before leaning on to it, to take the next step forward. The conversations with the occasional trekkers who would pass by, was now about offering tips on how to take long deep breaths, breathing in thru the nose, taking shorter steps, slowing down the pace, resting with the support of the pole and not sitting down and to keep moving on.

Our phones were packed inside the bags ensuring the hands were free to support, incase of an occasional slip down and extending our hands for help to be pulled up when there was a steep incline and this is where we found our guides useful and also ensuring to be careful not to extend our hands to pull others up, if we were not on a stable ground as we could get dragged down. Had met in the upper camp 2 days later, a young girl, looking all confused, had very briefly stopped at the kitchen tent, when I asked her if she had summited, she said she was just a few metres away from the peak, when she saw people sliding down from above, unable to balance themselves on the fresh snow and how one person sliding, pulled down 2 to 3 others with him and also had sent some huge stones flying off the mountain and she decided to turn back. She seemed to be in a hurry to climb down as soon as she could.

The photos of the stunning views and the rare flowers, the cloud play that we started witnessing now over the mountains, had to wait till we found a spot to stand n click, which we did eventually. It started to drizzle and we had to pull out our rain covers and also cover our backpacks. The weather kept changing every few mins, as if it was trying out new outfits in a trial room and we had to take out our layers or add on our jackets n rain covers, which was a difficult task given the path. We were sweating and gasping for breath even in the rain while climbing up and when we stopped walking, would suddenly feel the cold.

We reached Kali Top around 10:30 am. Situated at about 13,000 feet, it is the highest point in that area, offering a 360 degree view of the cloud covered peaks with the next trail clearly visible and also has a small stone place, full of bright, red and saffron coloured prayer flags dedicated to Maa Kali.

There was hot Maggie n aloo parathas sold, which we decided to eat, after offering our Thanks to Goddess Kali. We even asked for some extra onion to be added to the aloo, which he was happy to do. Standing outside, leaning on to the edge of the mountain, carefully balancing the huge hot paratha in my hand, which had a piece of mango pickle on it, the onion rings inside, adding to the taste n making it crunchier, I enjoyed every bit of it, without taking my eyes off the spectacular mountain peaks all around, as I myself was engulfed in the passing clouds, with my rain cover on, debating all along if I should ask for more pickle and decided not to, remembering the load on the porters back. When I was offered one more paratha, without even thinking, I said Yes, and this time as if he had read my mind, he handed me a spoon and asked me to choose whatever I wanted from the mixed pickle on a small steel plate. I not only had extra, I also had choice, felt like a kid in front of a buffet spread, deciding whether to take the mango, lemon or even a chilly.

My stomach was full, Mind empty and I was literally on cloud Nine, ready to conquer any mountain, one step at a time, one moment at a time, everything seemed possible!

To Bhimdwar - A Stairway to Heaven

From Kali top we proceeded to BhimTalai which is a 2km steep down hill descent where Bheem was supposed to have constructed a pond during their exile. It was raining, water flowing every where, the path muddy, covered with loose soil, slippery and risky at places. Our shoes and clothes covered in mud, some of our clothes and backpacks partially wet, our water proof trekking shoes now full of water, which had entered from above, we reached BhimTal, which had a beautiful stream, took a short break and continued to Kunsha which is another 2 kms away. Another scenic spot, the path filled with several water falls and streams that we had to cross. We stopped at Kunsha for lunch, and also to dry our wet clothes and warm our cold feet n hands sitting around the cooking fire in the tent there. Everyone here was very welcoming and were the source of all news, updates, information, situations, stories and every tent had neatly folded red and brown coloured woollen blankets for trekkers to warm themselves, as they stopped for tea/parathas and rest on their way.

The rains continued, sometimes a downpour, mostly a drizzle and at times windy. We had to reach Bhimdwar which was another 3 kms away before it was too late as the tents there get occupied quickly, as it is one of the last camps with proper food and accommodation or we would not have a place for the night. The stretch to Bhimdwar has many streams covered with frozen ice or commonly known as glaciers, which had now become slippery due to rains and some of them had started to give away with a huge hole in the middle clearly visible and some were already broken. We were warned in the start point to be careful while crossing them and not to crowd or chant/scream as they could give away anytime.

We continued walking, at times, the path very narrow just enough for one foot to be placed, carefully leaning on to the mountain side, looking down at every step and never even looked at the other deep side, quietly in our own thoughts, at our own pace, without looking up to even admire the mountains, as one wrong foot placement or just a moment of not being present, could cost us our life.

As we kept walking quietly, I couldn't stop from recollecting the earlier day conversations with the orange clothed person I had met and the stories he had so effortlessly narrated and I had even asked him if it is ok to do a riskier trek like this and what if something happens and he had mentioned that risks are the same irrespective of the place and even in Blore nobody could stop from what needs to happen and drew my attention to the benefits of being in a place like this, which not everyone can do and he was happy, we did. I wanted to know how does he travel ticketless and if he gets scolded by the TC or others and he said, that’s how we grow, by taking in everything. I asked him if he meditates and everyday meditation is required, he had said, Yes, and would have shared his experiences, but looking at his expression, I imagined it to be extreme and decided to escape that part. I was curious to know how did he get into this path and if there was any resistance from people around and he said yes, initially it was there and quoted Shankaracharya and how even he went thru the resistance but still continued on his path. He also narrated the story of Ashwathama from Mahabarath and how he was given water mixed with white flour as his parents could not afford milk and when Ashwathama got to taste the real milk, while he was in the company of royal family kids, he was upset with his parents and how, The Reality presented is different, even if done with the best of interests, and how it becomes important to find the truth. He was practical, had an answer for everything, had read all the major texts including the Upanishads and Bagvadgita. When we stopped for lunch, he moved on saying he doesn't eat outside food and when I had shared my dry fruits along the way, he had eaten happily. I couldn't stop thinking thru out, if I should have handed over my entire pack of dry fruits, which I had saved for any emergency, as we were told that there is no food and water in the last stretch and I had packed only what is sufficient, not even a tissue extra, as walking in the higher altitude becomes difficult and I had even emptied my water bottles to the minimum level and drinking directly from the streams.

It had already become difficult to walk on this stretch and after sometime, I looked up and saw no one around. I was alone on that huge mountain. My guide had left me and moved on and the others were far behind, not even visible, in the previous mountain. I wasn't sure if I should wait, there was no place to even stand in the rain and cold, also it would slowly start getting dark and not safe. Left with no choice, I decided to keep walking and when I had to climb down or up, did it by sitting down, crawling and pulling myself with the support of hands, wondering, how would anyone even know the spot, incase, I disappeared, and if I would even be heard against the sounds of the rain, wind and the water falls. I still had one more glacier to cross and looked around to see if there is anyone around, incase, needed to watch over. There was one person who passed by and I greeted him with "Jai Mahadev" as was the standard there, and he didn't even look up, barely acknowledged, looked exhausted, something playing on his mind in a loop or maybe chanting Mahadev to take him safely down. I let him pass by and decided to step on the glacier. I placed my pole first to see if the ice is strong enough and then placed my feet, inch by inch, with full presence, calculating every placement, angle, position and move, finally crossed over and felt proud of myself, as if ,I completed my exams and was now free to enjoy the path.

I finally reached Bhimdwar and one glimpse of that place, looked so heavenly with snow clad mountains all around, several water falls, glaciers, multi coloured tents below on the vast green pastures, wondering, if there was even a need for Bheem to construct a stairway to heaven. I couldn't resist from taking a picture, and opened my bag, took out the phone, without realising those few moments would wet the only other pair of dry clothes in my bag. I quickly packed the phone before it got wet and kept walking, till I reached the end of the mountain, stopped and stood there leaning against it, not knowing where to go next. I waited till finally Nikhil showed up and with no energy to even talk, I asked him softly, why did he leave me and he said, he had to find a tent before it was too late or we wouldn’t have a place.

He was young, probably his first summit as well, wore his football shoes and would slip in places but his energy and enthusiasm balanced him out, carried a guitar in his hand all along, something that I couldn't stop thinking why. The 4 of them were cousins, one had summited multiple times and they were not professional porters nor trained guides, more of an aspiring entrepreneurs in the travel business, curious about how youtube could increase customers for them, but very polite, sweet and kind. Could have done it without them too, as most of the others did, but in a weather like this, where the paths get blocked, being locals they knew the terrain.

He had finally revealed the reason for carrying his guitar. He wanted to play it in front of Mahadev on summit. I couldn't but wonder, how, even though the Summit is the same for all of us, the reasons vary and in pursuit of that summit, we explore and experience and in that very process lies our awakening and once that happens, the summit itself becomes irrelevant!

Parvati Bhag & Nain Sarovar - A distant dream!

When we embarked on this journey from Bangalore, we didn't even know for how long we would be gone, had roughly estimated 15 days and even had plans of doing Kinnaur Kailash, if it opened up in time, which was only a 4 hrs drive from there, equally challenging, more steeper, supposedly, the land of Fairy tales, the place where Lord Shiva would conduct a meeting of all gods n goddesses every year in winter and the trek could be done in 3 days with packed food n water and sleep in a cave. Shrikand Kailash required at least 6 days to complete, provided weather was perfect, the locals do it in 3 days.

When we reached Bhimdwar, it was decided that if it continues to rain, we will have to stay put for a day or 2 and then take a call. So the next day, we did not set our alarms, didn't know when we woke up, did not know the day or date or for how long we have been trekking. Nothing mattered there. Just eat, trek, sleep. It was raining outside, so we didn't step out, till, when the tent guy came calling out to check if we needed anything. We told him the rain water is dripping inside and he said we are lucky, as most of the other tents were flooded and people have started going down. Our main guide Vicky, came in to announce that the path to Parvathi Bhag, our next camp, had become riskier, as the glacier is giving away and we cannot go up. If the weather doesn't clear up, we would have to start going down. We said we will wait for the weather to clear up or we are ready to take the riskier route. He did not seem happy and left and didn't come back near our tent again.

Getting out of our tent was even more of a task, wearing the rain covers or shoes, which were dripping with water, without getting them inside nor we stepping out in the rain or mud was a skill. Walking to the kitchen tent, a few meters away, had become a mini expedition. We were on a slope, rain water flowing, muddy, slushy, every step required time and effort and balance.

The kitchen tent also known as the Bhandar/Langar where free food is served is a larger tent filled with blankets, supplies, cooking, volunteers, porters, gossip, news etc. Volunteers serve in these bhandars and they take their roles very seriously. At the starting point, I had noticed, how the chairman of the Shrikhand yatra, was talking about how happy they are to serve and when someone thanked him, he shot back saying, by thanking, he is taking away the essence of what the word "service" means, and they should be the ones thanking us and not we. We should not rob them of opportunities to serve.

As I went in and settled in the kitchen tent, one of the locals, who was serving there for the last 27 years was sharing, how these Bhandars and other facilities should be stopped immediately by the government as it was attracting more trekkers, polluting the sacred abode of Lord Shiva, which was the reason for an extreme weather like this, which he had never seen in the past. He went on to explain how Parvathi Bhag, was earlier filled with very rare medicinal herbs and plants and was now depleted.

Parvati "Bhagicha", as the name suggests, is supposed to be the place where Goddess Parvati resided and filled with all kinds of rare cosmic flowers, herbs, plants which she had planted and also where the famous Brahma Kamal was found in plenty. It was supposed to be the flower used to sprinkle water, when Ganesha's head was attached. Parvati Bhag was 2 kms away from Bhimdwar and after that was Nain Sarovar which was another 2 kms up hill, on the way to the peak.
When Shiva sat in deep Meditation on top of the Shrikhand peak, Parvati didn't know how to bring him out and had shed tears, some of which collected in "Nain" Sarovar, whose waters even today is supposed to have healing powers. Seeing them, Lord Vishnu came in the form of "Mohini" and tricked the demon Bhasmasur to touch his own head there by turning him into ashes.

As we had rice and dal for lunch, there was more information coming in on how the path to Parvati bhag had become even more risky and people up there were stuck without a way to come down, the weather conditions there even worse, as it was at an higher altitude and windy and their tents blown away, people unable to withstand the cold and no food.

Nobody knew when the weather would clear up, another week as per the predictions. There was another young volunteer, late 20's, an aspiring IFS officer, who was volunteering for the last 3 years. I asked him, what makes him come back, and he said the energy he had experienced on top of the peak and he is ready to come back any no of times to experience it again. He showed us the photos of the previous years summit and how beautiful the weather was and the path looked so easily doable. He had all the right information about the situation.

We were 4 of us, 3 from Blore and another one from Ahmedabad who was a friend's friend. 2 of them decided they wanted to go down if the situation didn't improve. One was very clear, adamant rather, that she wanted to go up even if it means taking the riskier route or staying back here till the weather clears up, even if it meant sleeping in the kitchen tent. I was ok going in any direction, tagging along with one of them. Direction nor decision not really mattered. I was like a kid, out on a picnic, quietly enjoying the rains and the risk, the mud and the mystery, the trek and the turns, as if someone else would decide for me and all that I needed to do was just look up and reach out and would be carried in warmth and comfort.

Probably, even if left behind alone on those mountains, imagining, how I can still make it survive. There was plenty of water, wind, mud, space, sunlight, what else would one require. Imagining, if Shiva could sit in deep meditation, so could I and that would mean, no need of food as it would take my hunger away, as it had done once earlier. If I felt cold, I could ask for the heating system in my body to start working and keep me warm, which I had heard someone explain long ago and had worked beautifully sometimes, and at other times, it meant, I just needed more practise, anyways, I had a tool in my toolbox!

Kailash - A Journey of a life time!

Our tent was tiny, barely enough for 3 and now 4 of us inside, with our bags on one side, avoiding the other 3 sides where the water was seeping in, ensuring the wet edges of the blankets do not touch us, nor allowing our partially wet clothes to disturb others, wondering, if I should have got my sleeping bag, which I had left behind in the base camp, imagining how my daughter's play tent was more spacious, zipped up inside for 2 days, without a place to sit or stretch, was a process not everyone would enjoy.

Initially, I was happy that I had all the time to meditate, sitting on top of the world, not realising there was no place to sit, as sitting cross legged means disturbing others with the extra leg space, sitting in any other way would mean touching the wet sides of the tent or the top where water was seeping in and cold, no space outside in the rains, other empty tents flooded in water, kitchen tent not an option, my yoga asanas didn't come to my rescue, wondering if this was the reason why Shiva went up to the peak to meditate, was looking for ways, to keep my mind clear of the situation around.

Was happy to escape to the kitchen tent at the slightest opportunity and sit there with the locals keeping us busy with their stories and sharing their blankets to keep us warm, as we kept staring infinitely at the huge mountains and to the sound of the water falls. Parvati Bhag was just right up there on the other side of the mountain. Looking at us, one of the tent guys even offered to take us up there in another riskier route, a shortcut with a vertical climb, provided the weather clears up. After all, it was a journey of a life time.

There were roti's being prepared on one side, huge metal tin of dalda, sacks of rice n wheat flour, packs of Maggie n MDH masalas, big transparent bottles filled with rajma n dal, plastic covers with onions n potatoes lying everywhere. There was a large aluminium vessel filled with water on a fire on the other side. We found a flat stone, heated it in the fire, placed it on our wet clothes and were happy to see it work as the steam escaped. As soon as the roti's were ready, we were handed a steel plate and served a brown vegetable which looked more like meat, which I was sure it wasn't, as I kept looking at it, my friend whispered, raw jackfruit. It was soft, textured, well cooked, with the right masalas, the gravy tasted more like hot flavoured soup, and the jackfruit pieces melted in the mouth like butter. It tasted so good, that I would have even been ok, climbing the mountain all over again just to taste it. Seeing me, they offered a very generous second serving and I even went for a third helping and stopped myself, as I had to finish the Rajma which was quietly waiting in the other corner of my plate. Went out to wash my plate, thinking, if I should have eaten one more roti or even two, and what would be there for dinner, washed the plate in the rain water collecting on the plastic sheet spread above the tent, which would flow down, every now and then, as soon as it was full.

Someone walked in to the tent with a pen and a note book and wanted to know our names, age, location and I asked him, if he was from the Government, he said from Police. After writing down our names, he looked up and asked if the 4 of us, women, had come here all on our own and we said yes. He looked up again and asked, "if we are aware that this is the world's most toughest yatra" and we said a clear Yes. He looked, unbelievable, didn't comment, no expressions either, must have thought either we were out of our minds or clearly didn't know what we had gotten into. It was true that I had bypassed my mind and completely shut it down. He paused for a moment and then told us to start making preparations to go down, as the trek is now closed.

On our way up the mountains, near the starting point, another trekker, a local I presume had asked us if we saw the youtube videos and came here, not in a mood to give him an explanation, I had just nodded, and he looked as if not just the youtube, but the entire video industry should be banned from this planet. As soon as the Police left, we quickly turned to the locals and wanted to confirm if the trek was really closed or was he trying to scare us, because it was risky. They confirmed it was closed and they would also start packing up and leaving the next day.

More than half of the trekkers had already gone down and the remaining others were now slowly packing up and leaving. Met a few trekkers who had come back from Parvati bhag and listened to their stories of survival. Everything here was only about survival. Someone mentioned that all the excess food supplies in the kitchen tent would be dumped into a huge hole that they dig up in the wet ground, which acts like a deep freezer and reused next year.

Wondering, if the jackfruit we ate, was last year's or this year's, walked back to our tent, and noticed an extra sheet of white plastic that now covered it, thanks to the kind tent guy. As we settled in, the only thing that I wanted at that moment was a tiny bit of space to sit and clear my mind and when nothing worked, decided to just let go and surrender. So what, if we didn't have a place to sit or sleep, we had an extra sheet of plastic on our head, a pair of stone dried clothes on our body and more importantly, we were breathing in and breathing out, which was the only thing that mattered and decided to focus on it!

Mahadev - Within us!

Even though Shrikand Kailash is considered as one of the most challenging treks and the toughest yatra in India/world, it was strange to see how some people managed it so easily, as if it was a walk in the park. Saw a few, walk barefoot all the way up and back, the last 3 kms stretch completely on ice and snow. Many had come with just a wet T-shirt, no extra clothes or jackets. Even met someone who mentioned he doesn't eat anything in the last stretch till he summits. 70 year olds, returning every year. People who had gone up just a day earlier, had made it to the summit so easily. Everyone had their own version of the climb. Easy, moderate, difficult, extreme, was subjective.
At the same time, heard how people in their 20s freeze and go into hypothermia on sudden exposure to cold up there. Many who had returned half way through. Others, who had almost made it to the summit and still turned back seeing the conditions there. There were casualties every year even in excellent weather conditions. There was something at play. Something beyond what we perceive.

After spending 2 days up there in Bhimdwar, the next day we woke up early and were all ready with our bags packed at 6 am for the descent down. It had stopped raining, even though still cloudy. There were talks about a wooden bridge, the only way to cross Jaon village now washed away in rains, Red alert across Himachal. As we started the climb down hill, the 4th girl in our group, who was from Ahmedabad was unable to walk. She had complained of uneasiness the previous evening and was given medicines.

Dehydration is one of the most common problems on the mountains followed by cold. It helps to keep a small bottle handy and keep sipping water, no matter the temperature outside. Keeping oneself warm is crucial. Rain water does find ways to seep into the backpacks, jackets, even if covered. Covering the bag contents in additional plastic pouches, plus a good rain cover and layering up helps. It is important to keep eating whatever food is available, even if we don't like it or not hungry. You never know when the next meal is. Snacking on protein bars, chocolates, chikkis, dry fruits, glucose etc., does help. If in high altitudes, it is always better to start going down to ease the condition. It is good to always keep someone informed of your health, even if it is a slight discomfort. Most importantly, it is very essential to keep one's mind clear and stay calm. It is not the climb nor the mountains, it is the thought about doing it that stresses you. Just focussing on one step at a time, is the secret to conquering the huge mountain. Meditation helps. Found it easy to do it anytime, anywhere.

There was a medical tent and the doctor attended to her. Vicky, our main guide was super helpful. He never left her side till she was safe. Finding a rescue team was not easy, but managed to arrange, who carried her down and to the Rampur Govt. hospital within the same day.

The rains had now stopped and the climb down was better. Only the 2 kms stretch to Kalitop was an uphill task with vertical climbs that we didn't realise earlier when we descended it. Had to stop every few minutes to catch our breath. In Kalitop, met the orange clothed person, I had met earlier and as soon as I saw him, couldn't stop from sharing that we didn't go up. He just smiled and said, "By having set foot on these mountains, consider it done". I felt a sense of relief, as if my dream of climbing Mt.Everest is now done.

We camped at Thachdu for the night, rented the same tent that we had earlier taken. In the evening, the shrikand peak was clearly visible, had our next successful darshan and was talking to some people, when someone came and asked me, if I am the District Collector, and why have people crowded. I was excited, we had found a small group from Bangalore, a senior yoga teacher with his student friends. I asked him a good place for advanced yogasana practices and was hoping he will point at Rishikesh and when he directed me to Rameshwaram, unwilling to go south, I took a turn and asked him about the Patanjali yoga sutras. Had found them clear in concepts, but difficult to understand in the absence of a specific context and so never could read it. He said he will add me to an online group that he has for yoga sutras and also for Bagvadgita.

Many people had told me about Bagvadgita and I assumed it to be a complicated explanation to simple concepts and had avoided it. It was strange how the connections and messages were flowing in, in a far away place, when we shut off our mind and ready to tune in and listen. The 4th girl from Ahemedabad was in fact a Kathak and Bharatnatyam teacher with a dance school of her own, had compiled a book on dance and was doing her Phd. I made a mental note that one day, when I become jobless, I have an option of doing a Phd, if not in dance, may be in spiritual concepts, not that I knew them, but it would always open up an avenue to learn.

Next day we started around 6 am and reached the Jaon village by 3pm and then went straight to Rampur. On our way, met a Panditji from Rampur, who would come back to these mountains every year for the last 27 years when it first started and listened to his stories. He had stomach pain, so gave him medicines and left him to rest for a while and we moved on. Met a group from Parvati bhag and asked them how did they finally cross the path. They said, the army took over, gave them one meal a day, and helped them cross on a zip line. Someone mentioned that he had to spend the night with the bodies of the casualties in the same place.

I was just witnessing everything without taking in anything. Had experienced coincidences and epiphanies. This was a trip like no other, as if I was taken there, taken care off and dropped back safe, as if it was a dream. There was something at play. I had always wondered what does the Cosmic dance of Shiva mean. Why does CERN have a statue of Nataraja, till I researched and found out that the Nataraja pose is none other than the visual representation of the atomic structure, how the electrons move around the nucleus in an elliptical orbit, is how the pose is designed when plotted on a graph. It is this movement of atoms which is the dance of consciousness, which is what is trying to flow through each one of us, if we allow it to, without resistance, by surrendering to this intelligence, which holds the entire galaxies together. The flow can be easily witnessed in nature where the resistance is the least. Meditation also helps in lowering the barriers by emptying the mind. By stepping out and exploring the unknown, we tune into this flow and once that happens, the summit becomes irrelevant. Mahadev is not out there on the peak, he is within us!

People have often remarked that I am lucky and get by easily, whether at home, or in business or in pursuit of other things. Maybe, its not the luck, it is the allowing of that intelligence, in whatever form or name we call, to guide us. It is tuning into that dance of consciousness.

There were landslides and water every where, but one side of the roads were cleared and the sun was out. We reached Rampur by evening and the next day travelled to Shimla and then the following day to Chandigarh to board our flight. Had eaten Panipuri on the mountains, met a Monkey in my hotel room in Shimla and was even tempted to show him my Hanuman Chalisa dance, but decided not to scare him and kept quiet. Got so bored of Parathas, decided that for the next one year, I am not even looking at them. Was so hungry when I reached the Chandigarh airport, that I went straight in and ordered a Hyderabadi veg biriyani and settled in the flight for my sleep cum meditation and just before alighting, a little yellow book in the front pocket of the passenger next to me caught my attention, as if it was placed there for me. Took her permission and glanced thru the book. I found what I was looking for. Went straight home and the first thing I did was order a copy of "My Gita".

- Savitha Reddy
10 August 2023

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